yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
