i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Be still, my beating vagina.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
