i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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