We won't sleep together?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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