don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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