I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
