i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
