I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
