come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
