Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
