I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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