So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You've changed since you got that strap on
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
