funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
