My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize