oh god the rape fog is back!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
