It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
