This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
