I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
