i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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