It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Randomize
