Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
