Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
