the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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