We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
