I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
