Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
