I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
