shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
