We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
