Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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