I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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