So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
