The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
They have beer where we have blood.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
