shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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