i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
