Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
