You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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