No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
