we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
