I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
