Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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