8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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