Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
