This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
