Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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