His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
