Duck Duck Cougar?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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