They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
