Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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