go do what you do best...puke behind churches
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
