also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
