Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize