So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
