if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
