I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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