You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
