People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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