bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
