Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
They left me at home... I'm a liability
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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