He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
