life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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