She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
